Sh*t happens sometimes
Q: Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
A: She can’t find the eleven.
Q: Why did the mirror have holes in it?
A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself.
A blonde has sharp pains in her side, so she goes to the hospital. The doctor examines her and says, “You have acute appendicitis.”
The blonde says, “That’s sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help.”